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It all started when...

BTGRPENISLAND

TOATTALLT HYPRAR LOLRISTIC BLOOUUUD.

One day, Burning Torrent and Gordon Ramsay were on board flight MH370.

Everything was perfectly normal, UNTIL.

"THIS CHICKEN ISN'T FUCKING COOKED PROPERLY YOU FUCKING DIMWITS." The force of Gordon's voice made the plane start to crash down to Earth.

Upon impact, everyone, except for BT and Gordon were kill.

"Well done for getting us in this mess and halting HIV research." BT says.

"IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT PEOPLE CAN'T FUCKING COOK." Gordon retaliates, clearly thinking that what he had just done was a good idea.

All of a sudden, a holy choir could be heard singing, just who could be living on an uninhabited island in the middle of fucking nowhere?

The Cult of Pen Island

A nun appeared from around the corner, with what appeared to be a large posse following her.

"THAR BE HEATHENS ON THINE PEN ISLAND." The nun said.

Immediately, the posse of cloaked men came and grabbed BT from behind.

BT used her INSAN SYCHO DAEMON POEWERS to dispel the crowd. However, just before the attack hit the foes, one of them held up a golden dealdo. OH FUCK, A THEIST, SATANIC SEX CULT. THAR BE BUTTSMEX HAPPININ' TONITE.

(Yes, BT is a demoness, but she was cursed so she fights Satanisim by using Satanic powers this whole thing makes sense trust me.)

The dealdo absorbed the attack, and shot it at Gordon.

Luckily, just in the nickl of tiem, Gordon held up the uncooked chicken from earlier, and to his pure and utter delight, this cooked the chicken all the way through.

But, just as they both weren't paying attention, the cult shot darts at them, and they dozed off into eternal blackness...

(Well, not eternal, but it adds DRAMATICA EFFECTZ so...)

The Pen 15 Ritual

BT and Gordon woke up tied to chairs, they could have broken the rope, but Gordon was too busy thinking about the perfect chicken from earlier, and had a massive boner to show for it.

BT was too distracted by the PWITTY PWATTERNS on the walls to actually give a shit.

Then the chanting started...

Ita obediemus et tibi, gallos gallinaceos.

Ita obediemus et tibi, gallos gallinaceos.

Ita obediemus et tibi, gallos gallinaceos.

The nun walked into the room holding a dealdo and other objects...

"BESTOW UPON THESE MISGUIDED SOULS, THE KNOWLEDGE WHICH HAS BEEN HANDED DOWN FOR MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS OF YEARS. THUS IS THE RITE OF THE HOLY PEN ISLAND."

A strike of lightning hit the spot between BT's and Gordon's chairs. They felt the knowledge of the cult coming to them. They shall worship Pewdiepie and no one else...

BUT THEN.

THINE LOWD AN SAVYOR

PATRIXXX burst through the roof.

"I AM THE ONE TRUE GOD. Shrek is my one true son. I shall NOT allow you to harm these innocent individuals and convert them to thine false truths. BEGONE!"

All of a sudden, the island exploded. BT and Gordon were safe.

"You two are lucky. There is still work to be done however, and these sex cults MUST be eradicated in order for the world to function. We shall completely deny Buddhists to spread love and peace throughout the world. No, instead we must send them the message that I am the only true God and creator. Anyone who disbelieves shall be sent to the FIARY DETHS O HELL."

Gordon found this inspirational, he decided to give up his atheist life, and convert to this, new, pure religion.

BT on the other hand, decided not to. PATRIXXX was against it, but would allow her into Trollven on one condtion.

She had to DESTRAY TEH EVILZ CULTZ OF EVILZ SECS SECS SECS.

She made the deal, and PATRIXXXANITY was born from the misinformed, uneducated, mind of a sexually frustrated person.

TEH ENDZ.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------THE NEXT ONE. BurningTorrent Goes to Nando's